Updated Stock Market Terminology for Laughs

CEO – Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO – Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

And my favorite:

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

A big thank you to http://bigpicture.typepad.com for these laughs.

I’m very grateful that I was 100% in cash before this 40% sell off which naturally makes it easy to laugh. My sympathy goes to anyone who suffered through it and my apologies if it was not a laughing matter to you. Still I hope you can see the humor in the new financial terminology for 2008.

Warmest regards,

Ellery

Back from New York City. No Computer, No Cell Phone, No Worries.

I’m back from my trip to New York City and Niagara Falls. It was a vacation with no computer, no cell phone, just pure relaxation. There was some excitement though. I met a couple of famous people.

Our second day in New York my wife and I had just eaten a wonderful dinner at a restaurant called Sophie’s in Little Italy. I had Osso Boco, a dish from Milan Italy made from veal shanks braised in white wine, and my wife had mushroom stuffed ravioli. It was delicious but I saved room for dessert so we walked across the street to the Cannolli King.

I spotted Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer of National Geographic TV fame, with his wife Illusion and introduced myself. He was very gracious and friendly. My wife was beside herself because Cesar is one of her all-time favorite people.

What Cesar can do with unruly dogs is absolutely amazing. And he does it so quickly. If you have never watched his show you should.

The day before we left New York we went to an afternoon Broadway show and I sat next to Edward James Olmos, star of Battlestar Galactica. If you don’t know him from that you might remember him as Lieutenant Martin Castillo on Miami Vice in the late 80’s.

Edward and I chatted briefly about the projects he is working on and he was very enthusiatic about his current work on Battlestar Galactica. He cautioned me not to start watching this season but to watch it from its beginning 4 years ago on DVD so that the story line would make sense.

Mr. Olmos has won many awards including an Emmy for his work on “Miami Vice.” He was nominated for an Academy Award for his 1987 appearance as Jaime Escalante in the critically acclaimed movie, Stand and Deliver.

Edward was accompanied by his wife of six years, Lymari Nadal, who played Eva in American Gangster.

After the play was over I told him what a pleasure it was to meet him and he very graciously said “It was my pleasure, Mr. Coleman.”

What a treat that was. I never expected to meet any celebrities in New York and ended up meeting three. Even better I scored many, many points with my wife for introducing her to one of her favorite people. She thinks “Cesar Millan is one of the coolest guys ever” to quote her.

I’ll tell you more about our trip in a later post.

Warmest regards,

Ellery

 

Discover How To Carve Out a Private Niche Empire and Grab Your Share of Online Wealth

Are you as sick and tired of hearing all the doom and gloom about the economy as I am?

I do feel for the many people who have been or will be affected by it though.

What saddens me is that if they knew what I know, most of them would not have to suffer. Here’s how to strike back at the bungling bureaucrats and secure a richer lifestyle for yourself despite the forecasts…

I know a consortium of people that one month from now will be better off than they are now… and in 3 months their financial situation will have improved even further.

Who are these people?

Members of Private Niche Empire.

Why?

Because they have taken advantage of the leverage the Internet offers to the common man. They have elected to take their destiny into their own hands and carve out their own Private Niche Empire online.

Or rather, they have elected to take advantage of the membership which practically builds that Virtual Real Estate Empire for them.

You can join them and enjoy the sweet revenge of living wealthier despite the forecast of recession.

At Private Niche Empire we provide 10 very high quality content websites to our members each month. These are very unique, complete sites that are monetized primarily with Google Adsense and Clickbank products.

Let me give you an example of how this works…

Many of our members routinely average $10 a day from each of these sites. I’ve personally pulled in $156.00 a day from just ONE site.

Now let’s break this down to the ridiculously low of only $1 per day and if you don’t do at least twice that you just aren’t working the system. At $1 per day times 30 days times 10 sites is $300 per month.

In month two you get 10 more sites for a total of 20 sites or $600 per month.

Continue that for one year and you’re up to $3600 per month if you ONLY make $1 per site a day. What if you make $10 per site? That’s $36,000 a month.

Are we guaranteeing you’ll make that kind of money? Of course not. It’s illegal to make income guarantees like that. If you don’t upload the sites you won’t make a dime.

But how much would the recession hurt you with an extra $3600 a month coming in?

You won’t be concerned about the economy anymore because you’ll be far too busy multiplying your own Private Niche Empire… again and again.

Right here is where you can start…

http://NetInsiders.com/empire

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that if you keep doing what you have always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.

It’s true…

Do something different. Do something that will make a difference in your finances and in your life.

Were you aware that some of the biggest fortunes have been made during tough economic times?

Yes while others were moaning and groaning about how bad things were, smart entrepreneurs took action rather than waiting to see what bad things might happen.

Be an action taker. Give this a try for 90 days and see what a difference it can make in your outlook for the future.

The smart way to move forward during this recession is to ignore the economists and seize control over your personal financies by doing something that will increase your personal wealth.

There’s no better feeling than being in control of your financial future.

Let us help you carve out your own Private Niche Empire.

http://NetInsiders.com/empire

Warmest regards,

Ellery

P.S. It’s time to make something good happen. Carve out your own Private Niche Empire and stop having to make excuses for lack of action.

Give me 90 days and we can start making this happen.

Article Explosion Morphing Into Private Niche Empire.

When I started my exclusive Article Explosion membership over two years ago, at first I was going to just provide high calibre PLR articles which is why I secured the domain name ArticleExplosion.com. But as I was developing the product and marketing plan I kept asking myself, ‘If I were the customer, what would I want?’

As I asked myself ‘What would I want’ over and over the product developed into something much bigger and better than I had initially envisioned. Even the name no longer fit but I went ahead with it because the website design had already been done and if you wait for everything to be perfect you’ll never accomplish anything.

That membership site produced raving fans and provided members with something that still cannot be found anywhere else on the Internet; beautiful white hat websites with top notch content, perfectly SEOed, that members are extremely proud to call their own. These sites are still providing high rankings in the search engines that generate steady traffic for the site owners.

But the name was wrong. It did not convey what the product is, so I recently was able to secure a domain name that does convey what members can expect to receive.

PrivateNicheEmpire.com describes the product much better and helps prospective new members to envision what it was designed to help them accomplish, to create their own Private Niche Empire online. New graphics and copy completed the package and it was just approved by Clickbank so it is ready to roll now as Private Niche Empire.

The Article Explosion site will continue to function as before because it is far too much to ask existing members to change their payment method.

Members can rest assured though that the total number of members of the two sites combined will never be more than the exclusive 125 memberships promised when the service began.

Would you like to enjoy your own Virtual Real Estate Empire, to use the phrase coined by John Reese? Then check to see if Private Niche Empire currently has any openings and if so join us. If not, sign up for the waiting list and you will be notified as soon as we have a spot available.

Warmest regards,

Ellery 

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